Well, it has been a while since I last blogged. So much has happened in the last few months. Sophie recovered from RSV completely at the end of March ( Thank you Lord!), then my grandmother passed away March 21st. After that we had the dove awards and then a big scare with Misti and her health scare. Let me see..... then I think Sophie got RSV again. They did not test her because she is older, but I am almost positive it was and she just recovered from that last week. I have come to believe that this is just the way life is as you get older. I hear more of illness and cancer in people my age and it is quite scary. Is it our American diets, something we breathe in the atmosphere? It is becoming all too common.
For some reason death and illness have surrounded my life since 2004. There has been a break every once in a while, but it has been pretty consistent. You can see where our family has been when you listen to the music Bart writes. Our journey in song almost. As I encounter death and illness with family and friends I realize just how far I have to go in dealing with it all and working through it. I think for five years I have dealt on the surface, but shoved the rest of the pain under the rug because I had three more kids since then. There is no time for grieving.... I have a family to take care of. Anyway, my mammaw is now dying of cancer and it is so hard to watch her slip away. As I walk this road, I am reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn. I constantly sit in amazement at what I have never learned about Heaven and life after this earthly dwelling. If you have not read it, I highly suggest it. The Lord is slowly teaching me that to hide the grief is only robbing me of the blessing of knowing him more. I don't want to miss any more of those blessings.
Here is an insert from Beth Moore's Breaking Free Day by Day....
They will tremble with awe because of all the good and all the peace I will bring about for them.
Jeremiah 33:9
God does not minimize the things that break our hearts. He is not looking down on us, thinking how petty we are because things have hurt us. If we are so "heavenly minded" that we grow out of touch with earthly hardships, we've missed an important priority of Christ. God left our bare feet on the hot pavement of earth so we could grow through our hurts, not ignore and refuse to feel our way through them.
So surrender your hurt to Him, withholding nothing, and invite Him to work miracles from your misery. Be patient and get to know Him through the process of healing.
Dear Lord,
Please tear down bit by bit the walls of fear, unbelief, doubt, skepticism, apathy, pain and grief that I have encircled around me to keep me strong so that I may begin to heal and be blessed from all this misery. Amen.
