Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Hard Week

It has been a really tough week for me. I was just broken last weekend over my reactions to Sam when he is low/high or irritable and just with my role as their mother. So, after weeping for a while, repenting and surrendering some things to the Lord, I felt refreshed and forgiven. I have not felt that in a LONG time. I needed to do this in order to face this last week with patience and grace.
We started Sam on his new insulin (Lantis) on Tuesday night. It was not the best night to start because we were at the fair, but every night has a reason for not starting it so I just jumped in with both feet and said," here we go!" A praise would be that he said the new insulin did not burn, which lots of kids say it does. THANK YOU LORD! However, our new struggle is that Sam is sneaking food every once in a while or eating off his siblings plates when his is all gone. He just can't do this! Bart and I have been frustrated, but not as much as our hungry seven year old. His blood sugar is running in the 300-400 range most of the time and no matter what I do, it won't come down. I have no idea why!
We also allowed our kids to go to a Bible school at their grandmama's church because they love VBS. It was a complete nightmare for me. I went and talked to the snack ladies about what he could have and labeled everything, then left. Everyday when Sam got in the car, he would tell me what he had eaten at snack and it was never what I sent, or there was some extra snacks and much more than he could have (according to a seven year old). So, my instinct was to pull him out and not take him back, but he was enjoying it so much I hated to do that. I made it through the week but the whole time kept thinking, "oh yeah, we are not normal." I want to be normal. However, I know that God gave us this situation for a reason and I want it to glorify him so I need to be ok with not being normal. Really, were Christians called to be normal? I think we were called to be "not of this world" and yet we try so hard to be of the world because that is "normal." I have a lot to learn. Anyway, we survived the week. Blood sugars are high, Vacation Bible School is now over and it is on to the next thing. Thank you Lord for walking us through that week and for the hedge of protection over Sam.